Oh, the things I do when I am all by myself...

I have this fun little thing I love to do when I am all alone. No...no...not that. Ahem.

It involves opening up a cabinet door--usually a cabinet door that is at eye level. Then, you see, I like to leave the cabinet door open and squat down and distract myself with something on the floor, like tying my shoelace or putting items up in a cabinet that is more ground level. By this point, oh it can be just 5 seconds later or even longer, but at this point I have completely put the thought of opening the first cabinet out of my pretty little head. I can't be bothered with remembering such trivial things. Then to complete my excitement, I raise up real quick like! Follow? I mean like lightening-speed quick and I CRACK my head really hard on the cabinet door that I had previously opened. Oh it is good fun! I am by myself. I am now hopping around raving mad. Grabbing my head, convinced blood will come spewing out at any moment. Certain that I am now near death. I'm torn with what expletives are worthy of such a fine occassion or if I should just throw my hands up in the air and cry--or both. Self-loathing soon follows the melo-drama. Disecting the whole debacle is also part of this activity. I then make several promises to never, ever open up a cabinet door ever again without closing it first. I always break this promise the very next time I do this dance again by myself. It is best to do this little treat when you are by yourself--like I did this afternoon--so that one time when you do actually knock yourself silly and unconcious--no one will be around to help--and that thought alone is just, oh so tantalizing.

The best time I did this little three stooges habit of mine, I was not alone, but in the laundry mat. I had opened up the dryer, bent down to pick up the wet clothes, raised up ever so confidently, and then CRAAACK! I was sure I would die. The nice owners of the laundrymat stood horrified. I lived.

I also love, love, love to turn on water faucets and then just walk away--yep--just walk away. This trick isn't as painful as the first, but I suspect the cabinet-trick has contributed to my quick memory loss when it comes to turning on water faucets and then simply walking off.